Famous last words
“Blogger Tired of Rumours”
by nipsen
“I’m just tired of all the misinformation”, the blogger says. “I mean, really, I could live with working as an unofficial propaganda- outlet for free if they just gave us something useful once in a while - but for crying out loud! This is getting stupid - it’s like everyone is just making stuff up, and publishing it on the internet for a laugh, you know!”.
We meet the blogger in a run- down internet café some ways off the highway, where the guests’ chatter rolls down a billboard over the counter, and a stream of people rush in and out through the revolving doors. I ask if anyone important turn up once in a while. “Oh, yes, sure”, he says sarcastically. “See that Suit with the expensive phone over there, for example? That’s the Motorola CEO’s parakeet”. I ask if he or she is well connected. “No, man, it’s actually his parakeet. It can just repeat the same few syllables over and over”.
Cups and saucers in Hollywood
He sips his virtual java, and continues. “I mean, I remember back in the old days - you know, like last year, or something - when sales- pitchers, and technicians, and beta- testers turned up around here to share some suggestive news. And they would feel important, and we would feel important, and everyone got to know something about the plans and the upcoming tech - and it was fun, you know”. He makes a healf- hearted smiley- face. “Not any more”, he says.
Another “breaking news” bulletin slams on top of the billboard. Apparently someone named “fhoonney” just declared war on everyone using stupid puns in the nick- names.
“Even when things started going downhill”, the blogger explains, “we didn’t really worry too much. It’s always been like this, ever since people stopped sending floppy- discs in envelopes to each other, and turned to BBS and news - no one could check the quality of the content except on their own. So there was bound to be a lot more weirdos and junk turning up”.
He twirls his virtual Chun-Li curls. “Internet rumour, when one comment there is translated into another truth somewhere else, for example - we just didn’t get that before!”. I ask if that’s really true. “All right, all right! Maybe not. But can’t you just write that it’s true, or something! I need this, do you understand! Damnit, just do what I say, and write down my opinion as if it’s actually important!”.
Ahahahahahahaha!
I assure him I will. He settles down and continues: “Because I actually am important, and do not live with my mum, or sit in a basement playing videogames all day. /And/ I have a girlfriend!”. I pretend to take more notes, as the self- projection continues.
Eventually I get a word in edgewise, asking about the rumour and leaks again. “Right, because people basically are vain and egotistical, there are always someone who will think that they’re very important if they’re given leaks directly from people who are sources. And that’s, obviously, just fine”. I wonder what the problem really is, then. “The problem is that the rumours keeps turning out not to be true. It’s just like it’s, you know, just words people snap up somewhere, and put together with something else, and then pass on to someone else again”. I suggest a shorter word for the phenomena. “Exactly! Like it’s just rumour!”.
He goes on to explain. “That’s just how it is, you know - the leaks are put there in place of good official announcements, because they don’t have to be accurate, they don’t have to be vetted, and they’ll spread more quickly than any dreary speech someone would come up with. But now they start to ruin everything by all this inaccurate, silly nonsense! Most of it doesn’t even make sense anymore!”.
A nearby neon- board flares up, saying “pictures of the Pnext concept! Most likely released this year (or maybe within the decade, or so)”.
The blogger suddenly looks restless. “Look, gotta go.. ah.. something’s come up, you know - have to go - and write about how important we are, you hear me!”. The interview is over, thankfully.
Loading ...
Leave a Reply